I’ll be the first to admit that while I feel like I’m a confident person, sometimes my analytical nature, my own high standards for myself and my tendency to feel other people’s feelings do me dirty. The glorification of hustle culture and the focus women often have on being everything to others means that we’re sometimes being nothing to ourselves.

I’ll tell you a secret: I was handed similar versions of these affirmations on a neat, crisp sheet of white paper in a therapy session. I’d just been hit with the tough truth that I was letting my dedication to others and their thoughts about me get in my own way, even damage me.

It hurt because I knew it was true. I was taking on others’ issues as my own and feeling like I had very little right to take up my own space. So I studied that sheet of paper as I went throughout my day. My therapist actually called these reality statements. Because that’s the thing: each of these affirmations isn’t a mantra to repeat that fools you into believing through mundane repetition; each is already is true.

It is ok to want or need something from others.

Standing up for myself over little things can be just as important as others standing up for “big” things.

I can insist on my rights and still be a good person.

I can empathize with and support another person, and still ask for what I want.

I might want to please people that I love, but that doesn’t mean that I have to please them all the time.

Saying no to someone does not make me a selfish person.

Just because someone gets angry when I say no, doesn’t mean that I should have said yes.

I can still feel good about myself if someone is annoyed with me.

I hope you take comfort in these truths and start claiming space on a radical level. Remember, you’re worthy!